Short Story: P.S. THANK YOU, MY LOVE

I am really tired to speak, even if I force myself to speak, I can’t. I have so many things that I wanted to tell you before I leave this world. There is nothing more painful than being surrounded by the people who I love, and soon, I will have to leave. But the most painful part is that I am not capable of telling you how much I love you and that my love for you is unconditionable.

Lying on this bed and not being able to say anything, because my cancer is in due process of shutting me down, and sooner or later, I’ll be gone forever; I really want to remember the days that you and I had together…

Do you remember our wedding day? Because I remembered it as if it was yesterday, and let me tell you that it was the best day of my life; you made me the man that I am today. Our wedding day was a very blissful day. Everything was perfect, and it was even more perfect when you entered the room, dressed in that pure white dress. Honestly, you had the spotlight in the room, and you couldn’t stand it; trying to cover your face with the bouquet, oh, how foolish you were, but still, I was able to see that gorgeous face of yours. You looked beautiful. While walking toward me, everybody we knew, witnessed your beauty and that beauty was mine.

The pain in my body… I can’t handle it, yet, I’m hurt. I’m not hurt about the fact that I’m dying, I’m hurt of seeing you devastated because of me. I can see your beautiful face fill with tears; while grabbing my hand so tight that it feels like you’re about to crush it apart. Honestly, it really hurts, but I could carless. I want you to hold my hand until my very last breath. I also want you to be happy, that is all I want…

I want you to be happy like that night when I sang you that song I had written for you. You demanded me to keep it down, that I would wake up the whole neighboardhood. But I couldn’t, because I love you and I wasn’t going to “keep it down”. I made that song for you and I was going to sing it as loud as I could, with my guitar, of course, and let the world know that you were mine.

I wish I could stop your tears. Jeez, you still look beautiful even if you are crying, but I like you more when you smile at me. I would do anything to see that smile of yours again, like the day I first met you…

We met in some part in Ireland, my hometown. You were lost and stopped me to asked for directions. You talked a lot, but it wasn’t annoying, because honestly, I wasn’t paying attention to anything you were saying. You had me lost in your eyes, I know, how foolish of me! And in that moment, I knew that you were the one, the one that I was going to spend the rest of my life. And who would have known, I was right all along.

I am really tired and wish I could fall asleep, but I know that if I sleep now, I am never going to wake up. I can hear your wimping voice and telling me how much you love me. I love you too, very much… and I will be waiting for you in Heaven… But don’t rush yourself… because we couldn’t do many things together, and I know the many things you wish to do… I’m sorry… I really am. But now is time for you to do them.

It is also my time to go, and I’m deeply sorry that I couldn’t stay with you until the very end. Oh, how I wish I could not leave you this way, not like this… but you know the rules of life. Do not think that this is unfair, there is nothing unfair about this, okay? Remember that my happiness is your happiness. What you feel, I will feel it too. And do not worry about what is going to happen from now on, because you will have me… guarding you and taking care of you and be beside you; I will be your angel. I’m sorry that I couldn’t say anything of this to you… and I hope the best for you… I really do. Thank you… thank you for everything, my love…

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