“I know you think she was the one, but I don’t. I think you’re just remembering the good stuff.”
I finished watching 500 Days of Summer the other day, and it made me think, so I decided to write about it. I couldn’t come up with a great topic idea, it just simply hit me with the question, “What is love?”. So here I am, going with my flows.
What is love?
Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more.
I had to say this joke, I just really, really love this song. Anyways, tho, what is love? If you’re thinking that love is just like this movie, like being on search of finding the one, you are mostly very wrong. As you may not realize, love comes in many form, perhaps your love can be your passion, like art or math; or perhaps, your love can be your strength, like family or friends. In the movie case, I just happened to realized, that the male protagonist, Tom, had a place he enjoyed going, which I counted that as love, too. I think no one can exactly determinate what love is or from where it comes, it just there.
I liked both of the protagonists, specially their mentalities. Tom was a character of a hopeless romantic, while the female, Summer, was more realistic. Two character who grew up the same way, but had different minds. Through the characters, it felt like they were telling me that life sometimes is just like flipping a coin, and bring us where we are.
I do believe that the kind of liking someone can be real love, but does it actually have to be someone from my opposite gender? These days, LGBTQ is everywhere, and it is no censored topic, which is good, even though there are people who disagree with this discussion, I like the fact that we talk about it, instead of brushing it away and pretend there is nothing there. I don’t think that I am gay, but sometimes I like to imagine myself as one, because you know, I am majoring in film and theater, and once I took an acting class, and pretending to being someone else is something I find quite important, so I can understand different perspectives. And you know, if I was gay, I wouldn’t notice the different between of who is choosing to love me, the only thing what I will notice is that I am being loved, and sharing a great passion for it with someone who feels the same way about me, that will be all I need.
Casually, I was talking the other day with a friend of mine about this whole LGBTQ, and I told her about my thoughts of being gay, and she told me, that there are many kind of LGBTQ, and it is not just, lesbian, gay, or trans, and there is more like pansexual and queers- I love the word queer, it’s just grand. And with what she told me, I felt like such an ignorant, not as ignorant as uhhhh queers are disgusting, instead, of being ignorant for not knowing that there was more kind of loves.
I also told my friend about a story of mine that happened to me in high school. When I was in senior, my literature teacher assigned us to read The Perks of Being a Wallflower, which turned out that I had read it before, when I was in 10th grade, and also, is one of my favorite books, which I deeply recommend to read it if you haven’t read it. Once, we were reading this book during class time, and in this book, there is a character who is gay and likes another boy, and from time to time, the book was a little bit graphic, like telling us that this boy kiss the boy he liked. And, I remembered one of a male classmate who immediately jumped from his desk and got mad, saying that gays were disgusting, and in what way they make them disgusting. I did the crazy thing, but I don’t know if it was because he was offending one of my favorite books, or that he was just being an ignorant person, and I fight him back, even though I was a shy and never defended myself when someone mocked me. But I turn around faced him, and told him he was an ignorant person, and that even if he was not gay, no gay person nor a straight person would go near him or hit on him, not with the kind of attitude he had. He gave up when I told him the cruel reality that no one would love him, but his mentality didn’t changed, he still hate gay people, and the world kept rotating.
So far, I have being in love just three times in my life, and maybe I will be in love in the future, but just these three people are the one I count them as legitimate people who I loved. I want to write about each person who I have being in loved, because their story deserved to be told. However, I am planning to tell their stories individually, and perhaps in the upcoming future, for now, I just want to tell what I have learned from my experience to be in love with them, which is that I only want to be with someone because they love me for who I am.
Last year, in winter, I met someone for a short period of time, but the moment this person laid his eyes on me, he stared at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the world, and I could tell, not because he said it, but because I have this naturally and annoying instinct where I can caught someone’s feeling, like being a natural psychology, I just notice it and I don’t know why. Anyway, I appreciated his way of staring at me, but the problem was that he didn’t really know me, and I knew, he was just staring at me because I looked pretty, and of course, I looked pretty because I had my natural facial hidden it with a kilo of makeup, and wore new clothes that happens to match with my body. So even though I liked being stared at the way he stared at me, and tried to imagine my whole life with this person, like if it was meant to be, I knew better that he wasn’t the one, just like the characters in the movie.
I don’t considerate myself as pretty nor smart. I just want somebody to love me by who I am, becomes in love with my whole, not just a tiny part of me. Why I think I’m not pretty nor smart, is not because I have low self steam. Instead, is more about that I don’t think I’m not a big deal, just like everybody else. But like Dan Harmon taught me, that maybe life has not a real meaning and nobody is important as they may think, but we zoom into the world, and there is us, with a belief, a motive to breath, a story to tell. We may want to become a celebrity or a very notorious person, but for me, everyone is already a celebrity. Every time I’m in some corner in the street, or in a bus stop, I see the people passing by, and I think to myself, every person walking by, may have a story, some might interest me more than others, but the fact everyone has something to tell, I am certain about that. This is another kind of love for me: people.
I have seen so many people who have fallen in love, and they are still going strong. I studied these people, and what makes them really love each other, is because they do not expect anything from one another, they just keep giving. Also, they are their biggest and best friend, and looked like distance family members who do not look-alike at all, or don’t come from the same blood whatsoever. What I am trying to say is if you are in love with someone, and that person is in love too, you and that person will know, and perhaps, it will feel natural, like love is the same routine that doesn’t get boring.
In the movie, we didn’t have a so happy ending, even though we thought that they were meant for each other, by how they stared at each other, and loved the same thing, and tried new things, and how they interested in the same things. But we saw one perspective, and later it explained us, that neither side was wrong, because life just happened. We can call it a destiny, after the happening, maybe it is luck, or maybe is just life, who knows?
So what I learned from this film? I learned something that I already knew: fall in love with someone who you’re considerate your best friend, and remember that when you shared your life, you also have to share theirs, too. Or just be by yourself, and be happy and love with life.
Fall in love, break your heart, become a fool with it. But always keep loving love. Love will be there for you forever.